My First Scooter Adventure

Two weeks after landing, I bought a used, cherry red and black Kymco scooter from “a guy” in Kaoshiung, which is about an hour south of me. Thanks to Teagan the Vegan the Traveling Teacher, I knew right where to go and it didn’t matter that I had not been issued my Alien Resident Card (ARC) yet.

It was the middle of summer in Taiwan, scorching hot and humid. The guy at the shop had incredible customer service and spoke fluent English. He was Taiwanese, but had lived in South Africa for some time I believe. Anyways, after making the decision I had to figure out how to pay. I did not have my local bank account set up yet and it was a pain in the ass to try and figure out how to pay the dude. The most I could withdraw from the ATM in cash was 20000NT

Luckily Teagan the Vegan saved the day and transferred him 30000NT which is equivalent to almost 1000 USD. I had never even met Tegan, only chatted and videoed with him. I was so appreciative of his help, he totally saved the day!

I didn’t have a license, but do you really need a license to drive a scooter in a foreign country? I mean I have driven on the East Coast of the US where people drive like maniacs, driven in blizzards in Colorado, and dodged Buffalo in the Grand Teton National Park. I assumed I would figure it out. I just needed to make one stop before making my way to catch the ferry to Liuchiu. A helmet. I need one now and fast, because rush hour was coming in HOT.

I arrive at the helmet shop, which the owner of the scooter place recommended to me. I was rushing and knew I needed something that would cover my entire face, yes full face helmet….GO! This shop was an expensive motorcycle racing helmet shop. I dropped 100USD on my shinny, new, black helmet. I figured that my life was at least worth that much. :)

I checked my watch, it was now or never! I attempted to use my Apple Maps to take me to my destination. I pulled over frustrated and scared, but controlled my emotions with my breath. I called him and after he answered I said, “Dude the GPS is taking me in circles and it’s RUSH hour. I am still alive, but almost died, like twice.” He tells me to download the app, Google Maps. I do not hesitate and punch in the code to my i-phone 12 mini.

I am using Google Maps, problem one solved. Its about 4:30pm on a Friday and I am a mere fish trying to stay alive in the China Sea. The traffic feels intense, like when I am climbing between bolts and I am in the “don’t fuck up zone.” I am attempting to follow the other scooters, you know the ones that have licenses and should be driving in rush hour on a Friday. A silky white Tesla gets a little too close and almost takes me out. I manage to stay upright. Thank God.

I am on my way to the tourist island where I can swim with turtles. I get to the port of Donggang. I detect a Starbucks and attempt to park the machine. I notice a local, bilingual, angel. She sees the terror in my eye from the adventurous scooter ride. I tell her my story. She hers me her. I go inside to meet her boyfriend, Jack whom is a dive instructor. Jill informs me I missed the last ferry and that I was welcome to take the first one with her and Jack in the morning.

Jill guides me with her scooter to the hostel that she booked for me, the “monolingual foreigner.” The hostel was beautiful, clean and had a queen sized bed that I couldn’t wait to crash on. The owner of the hostel doesn’t speak English, but my bilingual saint, friend tells her my story and I am given a bag of bananas and a rubber ducky that is wearing a helmet and has chains around its neck, signifying the badass duck is it.

This was my first scooter adventure, in a foreign land, on a random Friday and I lived to tell the story.